Not Always A Cry For Help

After studying threats for over 20 years, Psychologist Paul Joffe, Ph.D., has come to see that suicide and cutting isn't always a cry for help. Sometimes, especially among people of college age—it's an "instrument of power and control". Kids who cut themselves have been thinking about it for years, or have been doing it for a while that it becomes a part of who they are… their identity.

"They feel proud of the power to control their own fate. They feel superior to others in that they have this avenue of power that others don't." If people felt suicidal, then the psychologist thinks that these people will come in and get help as soon as they make their cry. People who cut don't turn to their resources to get help… they like having that power over themselves. These kids are how a master of their own fate and are in full control.

"Suicidal ideation hardens into a stiff shell of belief. These students feel good about suicide. It makes them feel in control," Joffe says. They contemplate, fantasize, plan, practice and rehearse taking their own lives.

I would retype it, but I couldn't say it better:

"A young adult committing suicide is in a basic power struggle either with their feelings or the environment around them," Joffe claims. "They're basically saying, 'You can't fire me; I quit. You can't control how I feel; you can't direct the circumstances around me. I'm going to trump you by making myself unavailable to those consequences.'" It's not so much a matter of a person being in so much pain they can't see any other option. It's more a refusal to accept either emotional or interpersonal consequences.

They don't want help, they don't even want it offered. They want to be in control and be completely on their own, thinking that they know best for what's going on in their life.

Added by Kaley Walker